Richard Can Finally Stop Crying Into His Braised Pork Ribs and....Capsule Reviews!

I love Tom Colicchio

Well TC devotees, another season has come and gone. While it seems like every reality show competition is hopping onto the retribution band-wagon, I have to say I was delighted when Top Chef All Stars began a few months ago. There were so many contestants from past seasons that I knew were truly extraordinary chefs, but either had a bad day in their season’s finale or just had trouble hitting their stride. Plus I just missed their personalities. If I could pay Fabio to live with me, wink a lot and say ridiculous things in an Italian accent I would die happy.

With that said, last night’s finale did not disappoint. It was straight-forward Top Chef. No gimmicky contests with one handed cooking or weird last minute challenges to really get everyone on edge. Cook your dream meal, Padma said, and I think Mike and Richard did that pretty well. To be honest, I was rooting for Mike Isabella. Sure, he looks a little like Sloth from The Goonies. And he has about as much bravado (good word Richard!) as Pavarotti, but he really grew on me. He was such a hot mess in his own season, that to come into this re-match basically as a whole new chef was surprising and inspiring. On the other hand, Richard really irked me this season. He’s a strong chef. He knows he is. So to come off as neurotic and not very confident in his food was a real turn-off.

But by last night’s conclusion, I realized that I’m glad Richard won. I think both chefs cooked extremely well. Mike more straight-forward and simple Italian fare that he can do well. Whereas Richard went balls to wall per usual, but this time he didn’t choke and it paid off. After Richard was crowned Top Chef, I realized that if he hadn’t won, he probably would have had a psychotic break and never cooked again. Mike can handle rejection better as witnessed by his semi-drunk interview on the after-show with Andy Cohen. Was it just me or did Mike seem one and a half sheets to the wind? So congrats Richard….you are now TOP CHEF!!!

Normally at this time of year, I would be crying into my red wine knowing that I would have to wait 6 + months for another season of Top Chef. But thankfully Bravo has franchised the bleep out of this show and Top Chef Masters starts next week! Not as exciting as the original Top Chef (the master chefs are so much more composed and less willing to throw people under the bus!) but it will suffice. Plus now I get to see my boyfriend Tom Colicchio every Wednesday night again. So thank god for that!

And now for some food for the brain…… introducing Capsule Reviews! Sometimes I think a book review that is 12 pages long is just over-kill. Last weekend I was suffering from 2 parts hangover and 1 part food poisoning, so I had ample time to read in between my comatose naps and dry heaving. I banged through two books and here’s what I thought.

What: A Visit From the Goon Squad

Who: Jennifer Egan

Where: My bookshelf! Actually this book was a gift from my literary sugar-mama. She was tired of listening to me bitch about how I was still #30 on the library queue for this one, even though I had been waiting for approximately 8 years for it.

Should you read it? YES!

Why: A Visit From the Goon Squad was pretty damn fantastic. It was an “it” book of 2010, but it wholeheartedly deserves that nomenclature in more ways than one. Basically the book is a bunch of interconnected short stories—revolving around the two main characters of Benny and Sasha; a record producer and his kleptomaniac assistant. The “goon” in the title refers to time and how it wreaks havoc on everyones life. There is a lot of existentialist thinking here, but not that kind that makes your head hurt; the kind that makes you believe that despite life being a pain in the ass generally all the time, it is pretty great. Also, one chapter is constructed solely out of power point presentation slides, which one could see as gimmicky but actually is extremely touching and tear inducing.

What: Mr. Chartwell

Who: Rebecca Hunt

Where: I heard about this book from the NYT Sunday Book Review. I knew that it was British and about Winston Churchill; music to any anglophile ears.

Should you read it? Not so much. Maybe if you’re stuck on an desert island and you’re only other alternative is Mein Kamp.

Why: Long story short, Winston Churchill had depression and he called his depression “A big black dog”. Ergo, Rebecca Hunt creates a world in 1960s London in which Winston Churchill’s black dog of depression is real. He rents out a room in lady’s house. He rips up her furniture. He sits on Winston a lot. But that’s about it. I think this book needed some real re-working. The whole dog = depression angle was neat, but it didn’t really go anywhere. Oh well, better luck next time Rebecca!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Yummmm......Baby!

Roast chicken and I have come a long way. My first experience with this wily fowl can be summed up in two words: Bloody Sunday. About 3 years ago I was living with a roommate who was a big fan of roasting chicken. He also was a big fan of being busy 24-7. One Sunday, he asked me if I could put the chicken he had bought into the oven for him around 5 pm because he would be at lacrosse. I’d never roasted a chicken before, but the directions were right on the plastic casing—how hard could it be?? So as the dinner hour neared, I took the chicken out and I was saddened to learn that we didn’t own a roasting pan! Always the problem solver, I stewed about this for a few minutes then called my mother. She told me I could de-bone the chicken and cook the pieces in sauce or pasta pot in the oven. Brilliant! Well as you might have guessed from the fact that I had never roasted a chicken before, I had never actually de-boned one either. And you can also imagine that if our sad little post-college apartment didn’t feature a roasting pan, well it certainly didn’t feature anything worth calling a butcher knife. I tried to de-bone the thing with a feckless butter knife, but I knew I was doomed.

So there I was, crying over bloody masticated breasts of a chicken that could barely be called a chicken anymore. I had hacked it apart to the point Jack the Ripper would have been impressed! So into the garbage the chicken went and I went to Whole Foods where I bought a substitute dinner of steaks so that my roomate wouldn’t move out after seeing what I had done to his 7 pound roaster. He laughed and patted my head where as I sought vengeance against all chicken from that day forward. There’s a lesson to be learned here kids; get a roasting pan!

Lo and behold, 3 years later, I do own a roasting pan (thanks Sis!) and I have become a roasting aficionado. I’ve tried every recipe known to the chicken cooking world. Joy of Cooking, Bobby Flay, Julia Child etc and so forth. Hands down Jamie Oliver’s recipe is the best, so I’ve featured that here. Make sure you have some sort of roasting pan (or do what I should have done back in 2007 and get a damn disposable one!).

The great thing about roasting a chicken is that the possibilities are endless. Immediately post roast, you are left with warm, succulent juicy chicken with the crispiest skin around; perfect for pairing with mashed potatoes or roasted veggies. When the chicken cools, the meat can be stripped to use in your lunch time salad or dinner time risotto or pizza. After you’ve picked the chicken clear of all edible meat, you can then store the carcass in a plastic bag in your freezer for a lazy Sunday. Just toss the carcass into a large pan with some onions, carrots, celery, salt and pepper and fill with water. Set over heat till it boils, then turn it down to a simmer. In a few hours you’ll have a delicious stock in which more great things can emerge; soups, risotto, sauces. The chicken is the gift that keeps on giving!

"Practically perfect in every way."--Mary Poppins

The Perfect Roast Chicken

Preheat oven to 475 F and make sure your oven racks are positioned to accommodate your bird.

Start with a good size bird, roughly 6 or 7 pounds. You can use organic, free range, Democratic, Republican....literally whatever you want. Rinse the bird and take out the bag inside full of all the innards.

Dry completely and stick on a rack, breast side up (this is the side with the pop-up timer) in your roasting pan. Cover your bird with a generous amount of olive oil, salt, and pepper and rub it all in. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty, as you will really want to get into every crevice especially between the wings and legs. Make sure you wash your hands after each time you handle raw chicken. Flip over and repeat process on underside of bird. Don’t forget to salt and pepper the inside of the bird.

Next, take the following list of ingredients and stuff them inside the bird.

4 garlic cloves, unpeeled but smashed

1 onion, unpeeled but halved

1 lemon, halved and pricked

1 celery stick, cut into a few pieces

1 carrot, cut into a few pieces

A few sprigs of thyme, rosemary or whatever fresh herbs you have around

Now you’re ready to roast! Put bird into oven and turn down heat to 400 F. This is very important, as this change in temp makes for super crispy skin. Your bird should cook for about 1 hour and 20 minutes depending on the size. You’ll know it’s done if the leg easily separates from the body, and the juices run clear.

Revenge of the WMFUN

What: The Corrections

Who: Jonathan Franzen

Where: Borrowed from the library but was recently led to Franzen’s literary splendor through the Morning News Tournament of Books and after reading his much heralded (or despised) book of 2010, Freedom.

As far as readers go, I would consider myself pretty unbiased. I don’t read only women writers. I don’t read only mystery, romance, or classics. I don’t just read biographies or books about war, time travel, or Snookie. For me, reading is like going to The Old Country Buffet. With so many options, why would I strictly stick to just the salad bar? Or for that matter, the section with over cooked and fairly processed questionable meat products? I fill up my plate with as much as I can stand, devour it all, and then I am back for more.

While we're on the topic of questionable meat products, I’ve recently been introduced (by way of the Tournament of Books) and now have read my fair share of books about egotistical, flawed men otherwise known as WMFUN or White Male Fuck Up Novels. The tournament featured many of these books, for no specific reason, and it got me thinking. In many cases, what else are gifted male writers supposed to write about? There’s that saying familiar to anyone who has taken a creative writing class; write what you know. Well if this rings for true for Jonathan Franzen, man did this guy major in Fucked Up-ology.

I’ve seen on many a review that people consider Freedom a near sequel to The Corrections, and in many ways I would agree. The story centers on a dysfunctional Midwestern family, The Lamberts, and chronologically shifts faster than Doc Brown in a Dolorian. We get to see each of the main characters through several different parts of their life. This device works great for Franzen, as it allows the reader to see where and when each character began their path to fucked up-ness. The patriarch and who one could argue is to blame for his families utter demise, is Alfred. His wife Enid, is your typical mid-western, rose colored glasses wearer, constantly nagging her husband and children till they submit. She reminded me of George Constanza’s mother. Their three children Gary, Chip, and Denise have moved out long ago, optimistically searching for less fucked up lives in Philadelphia and New York. The novel takes the reader on a ride through each of these characters zany lives (which includes but is not limited to the following topics; cruises, bisexual love affairs, hallucinations involving feces, mind alternating drugs, a bi-sexual love triangle, student/teacher affairs, and a trip to war-torn Lithuania) and by the end you realize that The Lamberts, probably like most families out there, are way beyond correction; they are just too flawed. Yet, would anyone want a perfect family, who were not in need of corrections? Wouldn’t that be…..boring??

I try not to read too far into titles when I am reading books, but Franzen’s give clear messages on what he wants to say. Much like in Freedom, the interpretation of The Corrections is multi-layered, built over time and in detail in over 500 plus pages. He creates an interesting alternate reality full of characters that are quick as whips but with a moral compass pointing due south of asshole. While Franzen includes women in his surveys of messed up lives, it is by far his male characters who take center stage and I would largely say make the worst decisions. His cleverness is entirely entertaining but his books leave me with a hollow feeling of dread. For his fucked up characters and the fate of man-kind. “Do people really live this way?” I ask myself. But does this even matter? No one watches The Jersey Shore because they work at a lame T-shirt shop and are model citizens! Being fucked up is interesting! Fucked up is funny! My new favorite word is schadenfreude or as Herr Webster defines it, “pleasure derived from the misfortune of others.” Maybe that really explains the success of such WMFUN. It’s far more enjoyable to read about others fucked up lives, when we all know we’re probably just about as messed up as the Lambert’s in our own special way.

Grade: A minus---Another example of Franzen’s mad skills but I hate when you start seeing patterns in writing, even if it all works.

For more on WMFUN, check out this lively discourse on The Morning News.

FAKE Top Chef Finale and REAL Gluten Free New England Clam Chowder

Is it just me or has this season of Top Chef All-Stars gone on forever? Bravo seems to be really milking the talents of these poor once defeated chefs. Case in point; last night’s episode. Here I was, all set to make some fantastic meal to celebrate the last episode where I get to see Richard Blais shit his pants, and what do you know---THE FINALE IS NEXT WEEK! What the F Bravo!? So here’s my take on this episode that included a quick-fire with lots of twists and the always memorable Last Supper challenge.

I mentioned to my sister that one thing I like about Top Chef is that they keep their challenges in circulation. Restaurant Wars, The Relay, The Last Supper, etc all return again and again. Call me crazy, but I don't call anyone a Top Chef until they've used a metal cart as a cheese grater (I'm looking at you Fabio!) In last night’s quick-fire, they brought back a few favorites—the old no utensils game, cooking with one hand, and being tied to another chef, all were pretty crazy to watch. In the end, Mike won with his braised meat and salad combo; apparently it really blew Wolfgang Puck’s socks off.

The final mountain to climb ended up being The Last Supper Challenge; always a favorite of mine as it sparks discussion with whomever I am watching the show with about what in fact would be our last supper. My sister, being quite the MSG slut, picked take-out Chinese food. I picked short ribs with risotto, but over the years I've waffled between Fettuccine Alfredo, Steak Frites and a really good sandwich. So Richard gets Wolfgang, and he basically wants goulash. Mike gets Michelle Bernstein and despite being Latin and Jewish, (what a fun dinner table THAT must have been) she wants fried chicken. Antonia gets the toughest challenge of the night –Iron Chef Morimoto. I agreed with Antonia that Morimoto is seriously intimidating, but by the episode's end I wanted to miniaturize him and carry him around in my pocket. What a sweety! Anywho... Morimoto is all about his mother’s bento box.

I do think this challenge was seriously not fair. Fine---have one easy dish, like fried chicken. The other dishes should both be seriously out of the competitors’ comfort zones and even though Blais admitted he had no idea how to cook a strudel, he delivered just fine. Let’s face it—a goulash isn’t exactly rocket science. But a bento box?! I really felt for Antonia, and I’m sorry I have to pull my feminist card out for this one, but I wanted a woman in the finale. I think one woman chef has been crowned Top Chef during the entire run of this show, and it makes me mad. I think Antonia really deserved to be there this time--and she was oh, so close! Even though Mike’s been on a real winning streak, I don’t believe he’s as strong of a chef as either Richard or Antonia.

Long story short, it’s Crazy Richard and Sloppy Mike that head to the finale to duke it out. I’m pulling for Mike at this point. I’m sick of Richard’s whiney antics, psychological melt-downs, and seriously low self-esteem. Get a life coach and give me a call in 5 years buddy! Now onto the food!

In honor of what I thought was going to be the last of Top Chef All-Stars, I planned my own elimination challenge; Chowder Wars! Well, not really because it was just me, and I wasn’t getting eliminated from my own kitchen (not to mention I have about 1 knife to pack up and look sad about doing it!).

Fancy pants Clam Juice from Bar Harbor, Maine!

Chowder has always intimidated me. My dad was a great chowder maker. New England, Manhattan, Corn, Crab; he could do it all! When I became a celiac, he tried and tried to make a gluten free version that was how I remembered it. He was close, but never got the consistency I had dreamed of. So last night I set out to attempt the feat of all feats---thick and creamy Gluten Free New England Clam Chowder. This recipe is from the CIA. No, not the Central Intelligence Agency (I wouldn’t trust any recipe from them!) I’m talking about the Culinary Institute of America. I used Bob’s Red Mill GF All Purpose Gluten Free flour for the roux but feel free to sub your evil wheat filled flour in there if you want. Overall, I would give this chowder an A minus rating. The taste was just how I remembered, insanely rich due to the heavy cream and sherry, but a great clam taste. I still didn’t achieve the gravy like consistency that I dream my chowder to be. So mission….. sort of accomplished!

Finished product! Man...I need new bowls!

Gluten Free New England Clam Chowder
Courtesy of the CIA

1 ¼ lb canned clams, minced, juices reserved
2-3 cups bottled clam juice
2 bacon slices, minced
1 onion diced
2 T of your choice of flour
1 bay leaf
½ tsp thyme leaves, chopped
1 pound potatoes, peeled, diced
3 cups heavy cream or half and half
3 T dry sherry
Salt
Ground black pepper
Tabasco
Worcestershire
Oyster crackers*

*I found some really delicious Schar’s Cheese Bites crackers that worked really well. They were cheese flavored, but it didn’t affect the overall taste of the soup. They also came in triangle and circle shapes which mimics an oyster cracker pretty well and makes me feel like I’m 5. Hooray!

Drain the clam juice from the minced clams and combine with enough bottled juice to equal 3 cups of liquid.

Cook the bacon slowly in a soup pot over medium heat until lightly crisp, about 6 minutes.

Add the onion and cook until translucent about 5 minutes. Add the flour and cook over low heat, stirring with a wooden spoon, for 2-3 minutes.

Wisk in clam juice and bring to simmer. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. The liquid should be the consistency of heavy cream. Add the bay leaf and fresh thyme.

Add the potatoes and simmer till tender, about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, place the clams and cream in a saucepan and simmer together until clams are cooked, about 5-8 minutes. .

When the potatoes are tender, add the clams and cream to the soup base. Simmer 1-2 minutes. Stir in sherry and season to taste with salt, pepper, Tabasco and Worcestershire.

Load up on lots of crackers and enjoy!

Some seriously delicious gluten free crackers!

Taters

Today, after waiting anxiously for a confirmation from my new Irish best friend Colm from Trek Inn; my June trip to Ireland is booked! My mom and I are currently obsessed with what some might call a sadist’s excuse for a vacation; the walking tour. Sure, I love a good sit on a the beach all day-drink fruity pink cocktails out of coconuts-come back looking like a Tahitian –kind of vacation, but the last two years I’ve become fully enamored with these hiking trips. Last year it was England and The Cotswolds; this year Ireland and The Wicklow Way.

The Wicklow Way

We’ll be hiking for 7 days through an area of towns south of Dublin; averaging 10 mile hikes a day and then staying at a new town each night. I’ll admit it, I’m a total anglophile, and these trips make me feel more British/Irish! In the spirit of finally realizing my Irish dream, I’m dedicating today to the Ireland’s favorite food of all time; the potato.

The potato is basically a wonder veggie. It packs a ton of nutrients into its little jacket (yes, in England they call baked potatoes jackets!), that it’s no wonder that the Irish people were able to become such sturdy individuals surviving on just these little spuds alone. Recently I got a tremendous deal at Stop and Shop (a whole bag of potatoes for a mere $2!) that I’ve been on a tater binge. My long term goal is to secure a seriously kick-ass hash brown recipe-crispy on the outside, tender on the inside. Tonight though, I’m all about making potatoes into a substantial dinner!

In the last few months I’ve discovered that bacon grease is my new best friend. I email it everyday, call it twice weekly, and send it Edible Arrangements. Well not really, but it has become my new favorite thing in my ingredient arsenal. Basically whenever I want a meal to be utterly fantastic, I start by sauteing chunks of bacon and then removing the crisp little pig parts; leaving a gleaming layer of grease. This grease is then used in place of olive oil and I’ll then sauté onions, leeks, garlic or whatever and continue with my food prep. Sure, this might derail any weight loss plans you might have for the near future, but at least your food will pack a serious flavor punch.

Bacon is the all-star in this recipe as its’ fat and protein make this potato concoction more of a meal. If you’re really jonesing for some calories add some cheese at the end because as we all know, cheese makes everything better.

Supper Time Taters

A few slices of Bacon, chopped
2 cloves Garlic, minced
2, 4, 6 (however many you can eat) Potatoes, peeled and diced into large uniform chunks
2 T Olive oil
1 T Paprika
dashes of Salt/Pepper
a dash of Tabasco
2 or 3 Green Onions, sliced on a diagonal

Optional; Cheese (any kind will do but I think cheddar or a crumbly goat would be phenom), yummy Dijonaise* sauce.

*I’ve recently thrown in the towel in terms of ketchup and potato products. I feel like ketchup just masks the potato in gross processed salty crap. I’ve been making a Dijonaise instead. That’s right; a hybrid deliciousness of Dijon mustard and mayo. There should be more mustard than mayo, and a try a dash of honey if you want to ease the potency of the Dijon. But it is really the shizzzzzzle.



Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease a cookie sheet.

Add bacon to hot pan and let sizzle and crisp up. Remove with slotted spoon and let dry on paper towel, reserving as much grease in pan as you can.

Add garlic to bacon grease and sauté till beginning to brown, a minute or two. Add potatoes, a few shakes of olive oil, paprika, salt and pepper and some tabasco if you’re feeling like a kick in the pants. Sautee potatoes for 1-2 minutes and then place on greased cookie sheet.

Bake potatoes for about 45 minutes. Usually half way through I take a spatula and make sure potatoes aren’t sticking to the pan. You’ll ideally want these to be tender on the inside, yet crispy on the outside.

Remove potatoes and top with cheese and scallions and place back in the oven for a few minutes until cheese melts.

Serve with above mentioned Dijionaise or top with a poached or fried egg for added caloric consumption! Now that’s a lot of craic!*

*craic is an Irish word that means FUN!

Welcome

Welcome to East of Eating! After the success of my dearest sister’s blog, The Horror Digest, I’ve been itching to start my own journey into the blogosphere. With so many likes on my life resume, I went back and forth on what a blog written by yours truly would be. I settled on a combination of literary feats and culinary treats because when it comes down to it -- cooking and reading are da bomb; well at least to this gal. Someday it might be knitting or jujitsu, but for now I’m all about nourishing the mind, body, and soul with good food and books. So cheers to my inaugural post!