The Hunger Games; My Week-Long Stint as A Vegan

Vote Vegan? V is for Vegan? Planet Vulcan?

Vegans have been my nemesis for a long time. The Lex Luthor to my Clark Kent. The Joker to my Batman. The Heidi Montag to my Lauren Conrad. Being gluten free, I constantly struggle on a day to day basis with finding foods that I can safely eat. Dining out is often a catastrophe as gluten minefields are everywhere. The fact that people voluntarily choose to not eat the most delicious things in the world like meat and dairy, I can seriously not comprehend it! I get that eating sure so pure and so plain probably means a healthier body, both inside and out, but I’ll put it bluntly. I could never break it off with my one true love; cheese.

Oh Cheese, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways....Cheddar, Gouda, Fontina, Manchego

These days, meat and dairy have become my survival foods. They are almost always naturally gluten free, so I constantly rely on them in my day to day eating. For breakfast, I’m all about eggs, cottage cheese, or yogurt. My dinners are usually based around a protein, and any excuse I have for putting cheese on something, I’m there.

This summer I’ve definitely been slumming it - eating-wise. I traveled a lot, so when I did have time it eat, it wasn’t too pretty. The other day I had macaroni and cheese for breakfast (it was, however, HOMEMADE) so I thiiiiiiiink it’s time for a cleanse of some sort. Anyways, this fall coincides with me challenging myself and what better way to do that then by GOING VEGAN! Not forever, just for a week, and just so that I can experience life on the other side. Perhaps this way, I’ll have a new found respect for those vegans out there, instead of wanting to push their faces into a big pile of foie gras. In general, I feel like I do consume far too much dairy for one person, and if I can learn to live without it for a week, perhaps I can start to eat a bit less and be OK about it. So here goes nothing!!!

Look at this fun fake chicken and cheese! And it only cost me.....$10 bucks!

Yesterday I went to the store to stock up on vegan stuff and I discovered that eating like a vegan is pretty expensive. My usual Sunday grocery list, dominated my meat, dairy and eggs, was now filled with somewhat expensive produce and weird outrageously expensive fake food. I figured I would do gluten free granola and rice milk for breakfast and grains like brown rice and quinoa with a veggie for lunch. I would opt for a meat like veggie option for dinner with, you guessed it, more veggies. I got veggie stock, which I never usually buy because I think it tastes like dirty celery water. I wasn’t going to try to find a lot of dairy and meat substitutes (most usually have gluten as fillers, so that’s a no go) but I could not resist some gluten free fake chicken tenders and a cheese substitute made with soy and rice. YUMMO.

For my last meal as an animal by product eating person, I was going to go for delectable beef short-ribs (my last meal before the electric chair choice). However, my local Shaw’s and their meat department is a tad lackluster, so I had to settle with Cornish game hen. Not that I’m complaining, roast chicken is amazing. So after eating about 3 pounds of crispy chicken skin and some cheesy grits, I drifted off to sleep while visions of vegetables danced in my head.

As I write this, I’m already one meal in and about a cup of rice milk deep into this diet. So far I feel…..ok? I had a banana this morning, followed by vegan and gluten free granola with rice milk, and rice milk in my coffee.

Stocking up the pantry with vegan friendly stuff; BEPs, GF granola and brown rice. I feel like I need to rock some Tevas with socks and my life will be complete!

I felt hungry by 11 am (I’ll mention I had breakfast at 9:30 am), so had some dried apricots and almonds. My stomach feels a little bit empty and I really didn’t get the usual enjoyment out of my coffee. The rice milk really watered it down and gave it a funky soy taste. Blech, I hate soy. Yesterday I roasted some beets and made some quinoa, so that’s lunch. Tonight, I'm having Portobello mushroom “steaks” with roasted potatoes and green beans.

These beets looked lovely at the market, and I would have bought them crazy vegan diet or not.

As I go through today, possibly craving a big, juicy bun-less cheeseburger, my one comfort lies in the fact that BOOZE is vegan. Let’s be real, I would never ever take on a diet that would turn me into a teetotaler. F-that and bring on the vodka tonics.

I’ll be checking in on Wednesday to report on the last few days. If I don’t post anything, there is a chance I either a. passed out from low blood sugar or b. cheated and am embarrassed about my puny will power. But let’s hope neither of those things occur. Go Vegan, Go Vegan, Go Go, Go Vegan!