Easter Sunday Eatin’: Jesus Rose From the Dead and My Blender Bit the Dust

First up, this official announcements from The Kitchen Times:

April 8, 2012 - Cuisinart “Curtis” Blender and Food Processor, beloved appliance of Emily K. Dumas, took his last breath on Sunday, April 8 during a whipping up of a traditional Bearnaise sauce. Cuisinart Curtis was born in 2006 in some factory in China and was given as a gift by Ronald R. Dumas to his daughters as they were starting on their new life in Boston. In the 6 short years he roamed this earth, Cuisinart Curtis was responsible for blending multiple soups and sauces. Some of his most memorable contributions to the gastronomic community include a Roasted Tomato Soup, Homemade Mayonnaise, and a Pumpkin Curry Bisque. Cuisinart Curtis is survived by Katrina the Kitchenaide Mixer, Sally Sunbeam Microwave, and Etienne the French Press. In lieu of flowers, please send monetary donations to the EMILY NEEDS A NEW BLENDER FUND.

Hello gang! As you can see from the obituary above, I am no longer the proud owner of a blender/food processor! How fitting that on the day we honor the memory of Jesus Christ rising from the dead, my sweet little blender was to join him in heaven. Blenders go to heaven, right? Doesn’t that prayer go: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy blender?? Looking back on old posts, I realized I used good old Curtis a hell of a lot! He certainly made my life easier and taught me so much about the importance of a good puree. What will I do with out him??

In memory of Curtis, I dedicate this blog post to him – and now I’ll tell you all about his final minutes but most importantly how to concoct a tantalizing Bearnaise sauce!

Easter Sunday circa 1989 - when little girls in white blazers and puffy perms ruled the world

So where to begin? Easter Sunday! This past Easter Sunday, my sister and I were on our own. Back in the day, as a proud Roman Catholic family, we would get all dolled up in our Sunday best and go to church on Easter morning. I remember one year where I was so proud of my big straw hat and white Mary Janes. Yikes to say the least! Dad would buy us Whitman Samplers and Mom would stick some lip gloss and other girly stuff from Avon into Easter baskets. We’d have a massive egg hunt in the backyard and eat a big ham. Now that we are older, and slightly more atheist, we no longer attend church or really make a big deal out of it in general. Maybe that’s why Jesus took away my blender : (

Check out these eggs!

This year, in true, “I can’t let go of our childhood form”, Andre and I still exchanged Easter baskets and dyed some eggs. We also agreed that a fancy dinner was in order (rising from the dead is a BIG DEAL!) and decided on steak frites. Now steak frites might possibly be one of my favorite meals on the planet. I have fond memories of eating it practically every other day when I was in Paris a few years ago. I mean is there anything better than steak and potatoes? NO! There ISN’T! By far one of my favorite things about steak frites is the sauce. If you go to a bistro here or in France, chances are steak frites will be served with Béarnaise. Bearnaise is a relatively simple sauce, as far as French sauces go. And to prove that Jesus really does love me, it’s gluten free! A sibling of the more decadent Hollandaise, Béarnaise consists of mainly butter, tarragon, shallots, and eggs. Usually there is some variation of vinegar, lemon juice, white wine or all three thrown in there as well. I don’t think you’ve experienced heaven on a plate until you’ve dipped fatty meat into a fatty sauce. Bring on the coronary!

In typical Emily fashion, I had barely any of the ingredients on hand. It was Sunday, and I wasn’t too keen on leaving the house, so I decided a little improvisation was in store! I think the element of fresh tarragon is what really makes a Béarnaise a Béarnaise, but when it comes down to it, the last thing I ever have on hand is fresh herbs. So tarragon was out! I thought I had a lemon and turns out I didn’t so that was a no-go. I had one desiccated onion that could use in place of shallots – so that would have to do. I did however have butter, lots of vinegars, white wine, and some eggs. Make it work Emily, Make it work!

Traditionally, Béarnaise would be made on the stove-top by using a double boiler and whisking your brains out. I wasn’t so much up for that, so enlisted the help of my trusty blender for the big mixing part. I started by sautéing some chopped onions (my sub for shallots) and some red wine vinegar in a sauce pan. I cranked the heat to medium and let the whole thing reduce till I mostly had vinegar soaked onions. I added a dash or two of white wine to lessen that vinegar taste that tends to really choke people up. Once the sauce was reduced, I let it cool for about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, I melted 2 sticks of butter over very low heat in a small saucepan. Next up, I took 3 egg yolks and the onions and popped them into my blender, and blended for about 30 seconds. Here’s where things got a little dicey……

The next step in this process should have been to put the blender on high, and slowly drizzle in the melted butter. I started my drizzle and Curtis the Cuisinart started making a noise a kin to a wounded yak. Smoke started to pour out of the bottom and I smelled burnt rubber; like “oh no, your tires are on fire” burnt rubber. Eeeegads! Off went the blender, and bye bye went Curtis!

a photo from the morgue

Not to be derailed by the death of an appliance (the show must go on!), I quickly poured the contents of the blender into a bowl and started to drizzle in the butter by hand, while at the same time whisking to my little heart’s content. After a few moments of heavy whisking – voila Béarnaise sauce was achieved! With the exclusion of tarragon and inclusion of onion, the sauce ended up coming out more like Béarnaise's cousin from the wrong side of the tracks, but it did its job. Our steak frites turned out amazing and I happily dipped my fatty steak in a butter sauce as I watched Bubba Watson try on his cool green jacket. What an Easter! Thank you Jesus!

Plan B - whisk it up!

A fun fact about Béarnaise: The sauce has been attributed to Chef Collinet who invented puffed potatoes (what are those and can I try them immediately!!???) and served for the first time near Paris in 1836 at the opening of Pavillion Henri IV. I guess Henri IV was some sort of a gourmand and just happened to be born in the former Province of Bearn (in Southwestern France) hence the name Béarnaise.

Here’s a link to their version of the historical sauce; too bad it’s in French. The pictures are fun though - visual learning here we come! The hotel however is beautiful. I need to get married here ASAP to my imaginary French boyfriend Armand!

Pretty French hotel - tres jolie

When I made my Béarnaise, I sort of strung together tips from a lot of different recipes I found online. However, I used parts of this Ina Garden recipe specifically because it used a blender. And who doesn’t love Ina? I want her life.

Classy Béarnaise

1/4 cup Champagne or white wine vinegar

1/4 cup good white wine

2 tablespoons minced shallots

3 tablespoons chopped fresh tarragon leaves, divided

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

3 extra-large egg yolks

1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted

6 (1-inch thick) rib eye steaks

Olive Oil

Coarsely ground black pepper

For the sauce, put the Champagne vinegar, white wine, shallots, 1 tablespoon tarragon leaves, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil and simmer over medium heat for about 5 minutes, until the mixture is reduced to a few tablespoons. Cool slightly.

Place the cooled mixture with the egg yolks and 1 teaspoon salt in the jar of a blender and blend for 30 seconds. With blender on, slowly pour the hot butter through the opening in the lid. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of tarragon leaves and blend only for a second. If the sauce is too thick, add a tablespoon of white wine to thin. Keep at room temperature until serving.