The Hunger Games; My Week-Long Stint as A Vegan

Vote Vegan? V is for Vegan? Planet Vulcan?

Vegans have been my nemesis for a long time. The Lex Luthor to my Clark Kent. The Joker to my Batman. The Heidi Montag to my Lauren Conrad. Being gluten free, I constantly struggle on a day to day basis with finding foods that I can safely eat. Dining out is often a catastrophe as gluten minefields are everywhere. The fact that people voluntarily choose to not eat the most delicious things in the world like meat and dairy, I can seriously not comprehend it! I get that eating sure so pure and so plain probably means a healthier body, both inside and out, but I’ll put it bluntly. I could never break it off with my one true love; cheese.

Oh Cheese, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways....Cheddar, Gouda, Fontina, Manchego

These days, meat and dairy have become my survival foods. They are almost always naturally gluten free, so I constantly rely on them in my day to day eating. For breakfast, I’m all about eggs, cottage cheese, or yogurt. My dinners are usually based around a protein, and any excuse I have for putting cheese on something, I’m there.

This summer I’ve definitely been slumming it - eating-wise. I traveled a lot, so when I did have time it eat, it wasn’t too pretty. The other day I had macaroni and cheese for breakfast (it was, however, HOMEMADE) so I thiiiiiiiink it’s time for a cleanse of some sort. Anyways, this fall coincides with me challenging myself and what better way to do that then by GOING VEGAN! Not forever, just for a week, and just so that I can experience life on the other side. Perhaps this way, I’ll have a new found respect for those vegans out there, instead of wanting to push their faces into a big pile of foie gras. In general, I feel like I do consume far too much dairy for one person, and if I can learn to live without it for a week, perhaps I can start to eat a bit less and be OK about it. So here goes nothing!!!

Look at this fun fake chicken and cheese! And it only cost me.....$10 bucks!

Yesterday I went to the store to stock up on vegan stuff and I discovered that eating like a vegan is pretty expensive. My usual Sunday grocery list, dominated my meat, dairy and eggs, was now filled with somewhat expensive produce and weird outrageously expensive fake food. I figured I would do gluten free granola and rice milk for breakfast and grains like brown rice and quinoa with a veggie for lunch. I would opt for a meat like veggie option for dinner with, you guessed it, more veggies. I got veggie stock, which I never usually buy because I think it tastes like dirty celery water. I wasn’t going to try to find a lot of dairy and meat substitutes (most usually have gluten as fillers, so that’s a no go) but I could not resist some gluten free fake chicken tenders and a cheese substitute made with soy and rice. YUMMO.

For my last meal as an animal by product eating person, I was going to go for delectable beef short-ribs (my last meal before the electric chair choice). However, my local Shaw’s and their meat department is a tad lackluster, so I had to settle with Cornish game hen. Not that I’m complaining, roast chicken is amazing. So after eating about 3 pounds of crispy chicken skin and some cheesy grits, I drifted off to sleep while visions of vegetables danced in my head.

As I write this, I’m already one meal in and about a cup of rice milk deep into this diet. So far I feel…..ok? I had a banana this morning, followed by vegan and gluten free granola with rice milk, and rice milk in my coffee.

Stocking up the pantry with vegan friendly stuff; BEPs, GF granola and brown rice. I feel like I need to rock some Tevas with socks and my life will be complete!

I felt hungry by 11 am (I’ll mention I had breakfast at 9:30 am), so had some dried apricots and almonds. My stomach feels a little bit empty and I really didn’t get the usual enjoyment out of my coffee. The rice milk really watered it down and gave it a funky soy taste. Blech, I hate soy. Yesterday I roasted some beets and made some quinoa, so that’s lunch. Tonight, I'm having Portobello mushroom “steaks” with roasted potatoes and green beans.

These beets looked lovely at the market, and I would have bought them crazy vegan diet or not.

As I go through today, possibly craving a big, juicy bun-less cheeseburger, my one comfort lies in the fact that BOOZE is vegan. Let’s be real, I would never ever take on a diet that would turn me into a teetotaler. F-that and bring on the vodka tonics.

I’ll be checking in on Wednesday to report on the last few days. If I don’t post anything, there is a chance I either a. passed out from low blood sugar or b. cheated and am embarrassed about my puny will power. But let’s hope neither of those things occur. Go Vegan, Go Vegan, Go Go, Go Vegan!

I Love Homemade Macaroni and Cheese: So Roux Me!

I recently got introduced to Nigel Slater through an article in Bon Appetite. If I was British I clearly would know who he was, as the bio on his book jacket refers to him as one of Britian’s “national treasures”. I don’t know if any American chef has reached that distinction yet. Paula Dean? Emeril? Big head Giada DeLaurentiis?! I doubt it.

Giada -- someone I would refer to as a lollipop head. Also, she annoyingly has to pronouce words like "spaghetti" like an off the boat Italian grandmother ergo I hate her.

Well, Nigel sounded like a first rate guy and he sort of looks like Harry Potter, so in the end, I enthusiastically scooped up his memoir, so eloquently named “Toast”.

Harry Potter's Dad?!! What, what!

“Toast” is a memoir, lead by food. Or more appropriately for Nigel’s life; chocolates, suckers, ice cream, pies, and some hideous canned goods. Slater grew up in the 1960s, probably my least favorite food decade, and his family, albeit one on the wealthier side of things, really indulged in the canned food craze. They were also obsessed with candies and sweets. Every other section dealt with a pie, a treacle tart, or candy from the candy shop. Also, the candies sounded like they were out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Mr. Whippy Cornets, Callard and Bower’s Butterscotch, Parma Violets, and of course Gobstoppers.

Look at that punim

Slater is able to interweave his memories of food as a child, into his memories of things that happened to him during his early life. There are hilarious parts filled with great Briticisms and fun British names (his best friend is a boy named Warell Blub ---best name EVER), sad parts tinged with the sweet recollections of his mother as a young boy (his mother dies of lung problems when he is 10), and also some kiiiiiiiind of creepy parts. If I didn’t know the book was named “Toast”, I would have sworn it was named “Penis”. There is so much wang in this book; I seriously had to take a few breathers. From creepy Uncle Rege, who made him play “find the sixpence” in his pants pocket, to Josh the gardener who never wore underwear and loved to dry off naked in front of an 8 year old, to the creepy masturbator in the woods who ran after Nigel one day as he was taking his daily stroll; there is seriously a lot of creepy man penis talk. I mean I get it, the 1960s, free love, et all -- but creepy British male penis? Yikes! Overall a charming little read. Nigel had a tough childhood, but his love and interest in food really brought him to life and carried him on a path to greatness.

Need to buy this book on half.com!!!!

In the spirit of all things Nigel Slater, I decided to try a recipe from his delicious looking Kitchen Diaries: A Year Cooking With Nigel Slater. This book is gor-or-geous. Really easy to follow recipes, fun narratives and stunning photography that I found myself one hand reading on the train as I commuted home one day. Let me tell you - it was a real feat to drool and hold a 3 pound book in your hand while riding on the MBTA, but I accomplished it rather well. The book is arranged by month, so even though I’m saddened to look away from the summer month sections featuring luscious summer produce, I focused my attention on September and October. So today’s recipe is……..Homemade Macaroni and Cheese with Dijion and Fontina.

I’ve been meaning to do a home-made macaroni and cheese post for quite some time now. Not only is it one of my proudest make from scratch accomplishments, it certainly fits into a food nostalgia post or two.

I have two big memories of macaroni and cheese from my childhood. One involves a version that my mother made in this big stone brown casserole dish with a fancy blue swirl pattern on the bottom. I think she used Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup in it, as I always found myself picking out the cubes of little black soggy mushrooms. It also had ham in it, which I loved, and a crumbly crust of breadcrumbs, probably from a paper canister. My second memory involves the constant battle between Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Velveeta Shells and Cheese. My older sister loved Velveeta; the weird goop cheese that wasn't quite a liquid or a solid, and that came in a silver pouch. It tasted so metallic to me. Ick. Then there was Kraft with its neon cheese dust. Eventually Kraft came out with the Deluxe version, which meant wider noodles and a creamier sauce (which can be blamed on the extra milk and butter that was called for!) I was hooked. I never was into Annie’s –with the shells and white cheddar. It was too tangy and wholesome for this little soul.

Ahhh, the sweet smell of Kraft neon orange cheese powder

The gluten free alternatives for boxed mac and cheese are pretty eh. Amy’s Frozen Foods makes a fair rice pasta version, and then there is a version by Annie’s, which I improve upon by using Greek yogurt instead of milk. However, nothing beats homemade macaroni and cheese and the key to this recipe lies in both the roux and the type of cheese that you use.

A roux is the French way to thicken a sauce. A roux is also the reason why I can’t eat a ton of French food doused in fancy French sauces. However, since I’ve learned how to GF my roux, my wanna be French life has improved. Basically a roux is a paste made from butter and flour. When hot milk is added to this you get a béchamel or simple white sauce. If you add cheese to this, you get heaven on a spoon. There is also cheese choice to consider. Many people go with the standard cheddar or mozzarella, but I find that American cheese (despite it’s processed roots) gives a really great cheesy, salty flavor, and it also melts really well. Today we’re using Fontina, a superior melting cheese that could be referred to as Land-o-Lakes hot Italian cousin. Land-o-Lakes hot Swiss cousin is Gruyere, but we’ll save that cheese for another day!

I just love giving human characteristics to edible objects! Honestly, what could be better?

Here’s what you’ll need:

Pasta, about ½ to ¾ lb
Butter, 3 T
Flour, 2 T
Onion, ¼ cup diced
Bay leaves, 2
Milk, 2 cups
Fontina, 5 oz diced
Dijion mustard, 1 T
Breadcrumbs, ½ cup
Parmesan, ½ cup
Salt and pepper, to your liking

*fun accoutrements like broccoli, roasted mushrooms or peppers, etc.

Start your pasta water. Use a large pot, and salt the water and place the heat on medium low before you begin prepping. This way, as you prep, the water can slowly get up to temp, then in the last few minutes crank it to high and let it come to a boil.

Place 2 cups of milk, chopped onion, and bayleaf into sauce pan on low heat to warm.

Make your roux. Here’s a step by step guide with pictures! Aren't you lucky??

Start with 2 T of butter in sauce-pan and turn heat to medium.

Butter is king

When butter is fully melted, add 2T of your choice of flour and start to whisk together. I tend to use brown rice flour. It has a nice consistency that I think is comparable to wheat flour. For this particular recipe, I randomly used GF pancake mix? Still worked though! At this point, you don’t want the flour to burn, but you want to make a nice light brown paste. When you smell a nutty flavor, then your roux is ready.

Whatever you do, don't burn the flour!

Add your warm milk gradually and whisk to combine. Keep whisking and watch your heat. You do not want to scald your milk or have it boil over. I've done this many a times. Let’s just say this is not the step in the process where you make a trip to the restroom or when you decide you miss your cat and you need to give her a hug. I've had to learn the hard way....

Whisk, like your life depends on it

As you whisk, you’ll start to notice the sauce getting thicker and thicker. When the sauce gets to the thickness where it will coat the back of a spoon, add the fontina.

Whisk, until all cheese is melted. Add Dijion mustard and then salt and pepper to taste and set aside.

White sauce!

When pasta water comes to boil, add pasta and cook until al dente. While pasta cooks, toss 1 T butter in a fry pan with breadcrumbs and Parmesan and then set aside.

When pasta is done cooking, drain and add your white sauce. Throw into baking pan - casserole or even rectangular or square will work - and then add breadcrumbs on top. Bake in 400 degree oven for 30 minutes until sauce is bubbling up. Top with roasted veggies, meats, or whatever floats your boat.

I was impressed with this recipe. It was sort of like a 5th Avenue version of the mac and cheese that I make almost weekly now. The Dijion added a great depth of flavor, and the addition of bay leaf and onion into the milk really rounded everything out. The fontina delivered; it added a great creaminess that American cheese just can’t muster.

Oven roasted garlic broccoli complimented the rich cheesy texture of the Fontina stupendously!

Once you learn this recipe, you will never have to rely on boxed mac and cheese again. It's really so easy and all you need on hand is pasta, milk, flour and cheese. A great spur of the moment comfort food that you can be proud to say you made from scratch!

Food Nostalgia: Campbell’s Tomato Soup Redux

I think this picture says it all. Bread makes me frown.

I’ll never forget the day that I was diagnosed with celiac disease, back in good old 2002. Stomach problems had been my nemesis for quite some time, and after college I had a new doctor who was all holistic and earthy crunchy and thought it would be smart to test me for this little known gremlin called celiac disease. Now, this was before the days of Uno’s Pizzeria having a gluten free menu and people wanting to go gluten free in order to shed their baby weight. I had never heard of it. Most people had never heard of it. As far as I knew, my life was over.

I cried for a long time that day. Sure, there were some tears of happiness. I had finally figured out that something was wrong with me! For years, my Dad was convinced that I was just nervous all the time and that’s why I felt like I was going to hurl 22 hours out of the day. So I was glad to learn that these feelings of nausea were not just in my head. However, as the doctor explained the strict diet, it felt like I was being marched to the gluten free guillotine. I saw all my favorite foods flash before my eyes. Sandwiches, pasta, cakes, cookies...I nearly fainted with despair. I cried because my family was such a food family; and now I was the leper exiled to the island of salads and rice.

The Gluten Free Desert Isle of Shame

Ok, I’ll stop with the metaphors. But seriously, not the best day of my life. However, as I look back on that day and then at my current stellar gluten free self, I don’t hold a lot of regrets. Sure, the first few years were rocky. Sure, I hate to eat whilst traveling and hate when people put croutons on my salad even though I explicitly say BREAD WILL KILL ME SO NO CROUTONS PLEASE. Overall, I like my diet. It allows me to eat better and savor the gift that is real honest to god food. As far as I am concerned, store bought and pre-packaged food is for suckers. Food that you make with your own hands is far more fulfilling, both for your stomach and your heart. (By the way, I’m totally submitting that line to Hallmark so that they can make sympathy cards for people with food allergies.)

My ex BFF

This brings me to the theme of this post; food nostalgia! So occasionally I will get some feeling of yore for those foods that I used to eat when I was “all about gluten” or let us acronym it to AAG! Just like how a former disco diva will look longingly at a feathered boa, platform shoes, and Tang laced with cocaine; I too often crave the good old days!

The other day, the weather suddenly turned cold. It was raining, I wasn’t sweating just walking around, AND I wore pants to work for the first time in like 12 years. Back when I was AAG, rainy days meant one thing; Campbell’s tomato soup! Oh, I have such fond memories of opening those sweet little red labeled cans after school, and plopping that orange/red blob into a soup pan. Sure, the can said to just add “water”, but that seemed really gross to me at the time. I was all about creamy tomato soup, so like any seasoned canned food chef, I spruced it up with half milk and half Half & Half. Now that I think about it that seems a bit redundant. Half and Half IS half milk and half cream. I guess I didn't know that then. Whoops. So after the tomato and cream mixture had come together, I would throw in some cheese and maybe a few goldfish crackers, and I was set to watch the rain come trickling down, happily slurping my soup. Oh, I wish I had savored those days; I never thought there would come a time when I wouldn't ever be able to eat that soup again.

Fast-forward to 2011. Campbell’s tomato soup contains wheat flour. I’m sure it also contains about 4 days worth of your recommended sodium intake, so in all honesty, I’m glad I was forced to give it the ole heave-ho. When I rehashed my Campbell soup dreams to my little sis, she told me that I wasn’t missing much. That the soup tastes too acidic to be enjoyable. So strike three---Campbell’s Tomato Soup is OUT.

So as the old saying goes, "If you can't beat them, then make a really delicious substitution sans wheat!"

I was pleasantly surprised to find that homemade tomato soup is about as easy as can be. Actually, I've learned over the years that pureed soups in general are a very easy meal to make. They are relatively simple, require a small number of ingredients, and can be put together in a decent amount of time. They also don’t require a lot of brain-power to concoct. The formula is nearly identical for every pureed soup you will make. It goes something like this:

Roast or sauté veggies

+ stock + puree in blender

+ add cream or milk

= delicious soup that warms the soul

The end of summer is my absolute favorite time of the year at my local farmer’s market. Why? Because this is when the heirloom tomatoes are out in full force! I love sauntering (I always sauntering at the farmer’s market!) over to my favorite stand to pick through the various red, orange, and yellow globes of goodness. I love how they are imperfect, full of little knobs and almost always misshapen; like they are the scrappy siblings of the perfect little vine ripened tomatoes you see at the grocery store. I also enjoy all their different sizes, some are HUGE and some are petite and dainty. Here’s what you’ll need for the soup.

heirlooms, heirlooms everywhere

4 or 5 large tomatoes, preferably from a really classy farmer’s market

1 medium onion, cut into wedges

4 or 5 garlic cloves, mashed but whole

Olive oil

Salt

Pepper

Red pepper flakes, optional

1.5 cups of stock, chicken or veggie

1 T tomato paste

Basil, thyme, oregano (optional)

½ cup half and half or cream

Once I got home, I roughly cut up all my tomatoes, while taking out some of the seeds and juiciness. Whenever I roast tomatoes sometimes the juice leaks out and then burns on the roasting pan, so if you take out some of the seeds and juice to start, this curbs the juice factor a little. I also added some chopped onion - make the pieces big to match the tomatoes - and some whole garlic cloves. Then I shook a ton of olive oil on it, and doused it all with salt and pepper and a bit of red pepper flakes; my favorite secret ingredient!

this looks WAY better than that can shaped muckety muck that comes out of those Campbell's soup cans!

Roast the tomatoes for about 20-25 minutes; you want them sort of tender, but not totally disintegrated. Then place roasted tomatoes in a stock pot and add your stock, some herbs if you got them, and a bit of tomato paste. Cook for another 10 minutes or so, then transfer the contents of your stock pot to a blender and puree. Puree to your desired thickness, and then return to your pot. Over low heat, add your half and half or cream and stir to combine. Prepare to slurp!

Pick your puree! Also this reminds me of that scene from Goonies!

"I want to play the violin!!"

Did this replacement for my beloved Campbell’s make the grade? You bet your sweet bippy! Instead of tasting mostly salt and manufactured tomato taste, this soup tastes like a farm; a farm with rainbows and sunshine and little kittens running around it. You might think that would taste weird, but it doesn’t. It’s delicious. So make it. You will thank me later.

Homemade Tomato Soup tastes like Organic Rainbows

Umami: In Fact, Not Really a Big Wave

These looks like zombie gummy bears that want to eat me

I would have to say that my least favorite kinds of food are sweets. If I was able to go back in time - a la Marty McFly- and tell my 20 year old self this, I would have never believed…me? I was diagnosed with celiac disease when I was 19, so the bulk of my first few years on a GF diet were spent navigating the tricky culinary conundrum that is the college dining hall. Therefore, at college I subsisted on a pretty strict diet of horrible dining hall salad bar concoctions, Captain Morgan’s rum, and gummy candy from the campus store. There wasn't a night that I didn’t spend in the library, writing epic history papers whilst dining on nutritious sour gummy worms, gummy peaches, and my number one favorite -- chocolate covered gummy bears!

Now in my 28th year, I can say that it was this obsessive sweet tooth behavior that turned me away from all things sweet. Now I’m more of a savory/salty kind of gal and truthfully this bodes much better with my gluten free diet. Store bought gluten free pastries not only stink, they seriously break the bank. I’m so pumped I get to spend $6.00 on a box of gluten free Snickerdoodles that taste like dehydrated cardboard, you don’t even know.

I love me some 'shrooms

Currently, my new favorite “taste” would have to be UMAMI! A lot of people don’t know about umami. It’s definitely the newest taste on the block, but I don’t think anyone can deny its amazing qualities. As defined by my bff Wikipedia, “Umami is a loanword from the Japanese umami (うまみ) meaning "pleasant savory taste". I think I first heard about umami after several years of watching Top Chef. The chefs would always use it to describe seriously amazing dishes, usually fortified with mushrooms or truffles or something. I would describe umami as a well rounded, burst of taste in your mouth that is nearly indescribable. It’s sort of meaty. Sort of salty. Sort of ‘shroomy. Sort of like if you could take a shot of heaven, liquefy it, and inject it into a meal; that’s umami.

I dreamed up this risotto recipe in an attempt to capture all things umami. A few weeks back I was in a local market that sells frozen quarts of stock. As you know, I’m a big proponent of making my own stock, but this particular market had mushroom stock! It got me thinking about how many mushrooms you would really need to make a stock, and I thought that it would probably be something better left to people who make stock for a living. Well after all that thinking, I didn’t even buy that stock, but found a neat little mushroom stock concentrate from another market on my way home from work on another day. Here is it below.

A champignon is actually a mushroom but I read this as "essence of champions!" Damn straight!

Talk about concentrated UMAMI. One blot of this concentrated stuff, and I nearly keeled over from umami overload! I also bought mushrooms to put into the risotto (shitakes are my new favs, but any little capped wonder will work) and some freshly made Italian sausage to add even more of a meaty bite! And meaty it WAS. I would say it was borderline too meaty, to the point where a small portion was just enough to satisfy me. This is unusual for risotto and I. Usually I have to keep myself from going back a third time for more, more, more! I guess one portion is a GOOD thing.

I think my food photography is improving. This looks delicious!

U-MAMI ME-HUNGRY MUSHROOM RISOTTO

3-4 sausage links, casings removed
Mushrooms, stems removed and caps sliced into strips
5 cups mushroom stock
½ medium onion, diced
1 cup risotto
½ cup wine
Grated parmesan
salt and pepper

Do ahead: If you’re using this liquid stock concentrate, boil your water ahead of time and add the concentrate. Make sure you really mix it well. I had some blobs of stock that didn't dissolve because I didn't whisk the stock enough. If you’re using store bought liquid stock, then just get it to a nice simmer on the stove while you start cooking your risotto. It’s best to add warmed up stock to the risotto when the time comes.

Place meat from sausages into hot pan and sauté until meat is browned. Remove meat from pan and use drippings to sauté mushroom strips. You can add additional olive oil if we need be. Saute until tender. Set aside cooked sausage and mushrooms.

In deep pan, drizzle a few times around the pan with olive oil and bring the pan to a medium heat. Add diced onion and saute for 3-5 minutes, till onion is transparent. Be careful not to burn the onions—keep stirring!

Add risotto and stir for 1 minute. Add wine and stir until rice absorbs all the liquid. Next, start adding your stock ladle by ladle full. If you’re really lazy like me, and hate to miss Jeopardy while you standing in front of a hot stove, I put in a bit of extra liquid each time, and then leave it cooking for a bit while I dash off to answer the Daily Double. This will really only leave you an extra minute or so, so don't get entranced by Alex Trebek's 'stache or anything. Real chefs just keep stirring and standing---so take your pick!

When the liquid absorbs, keep adding more liquid until your stock runs out. The rice should be tender at this point, with a little bit of bite. Add cooked sausages and grated parmesan and salt and pepper to taste.

Plate risotto and lay sliced mushrooms artfully on top. Se magnifique!

Fry-Day: Eggplant Edition

I'm embarrassed that these pins exist. Get a life people!

Recently, I’ve become enthralled by the idea of Reverse Food Psychology. Yes, I just made that word up, but I think it perfectly describes the fact that we can trick ourselves into thinking we’re eating healthy by subbing out different ingredients. For instance, by cutting veggies into the shape of a potato chip, we can fool our puny little brains that we’re eating a lovely crisp Lays potato chip instead of a nasty dehydrated beet. See also gross vegan food like the Tofurky, Quorn dogs, and Nayonaise.

In the August issue of Bon Appetite, one of the first featured recipes was for eggplant fries. My first thought was. “Yes! Time to fry something again!” I used to be afraid of frying things. I thought I needed a legit fryer with a basket and weird temperature pluggy thing, much like my dad had back when Wednesday nights at the Dumas house used to be Fried Food Wednesday. My mom used to take a night class in Boston every Wednesday for a few years running. So every Wednesday, Dad would load up on seafood and potatoes, and we would have a virtual assembly line of egg wash, flour mix, and fryer; sort of like a mini McDonald's! If it was not for the fact that I was a slave to the ballet barre for most of my young life, I probably would have resembled Augustus Gloop. I still remember Dad yelling, “Close the doors upstairs!” so that our bed linens wouldn’t reek of fried scallops and shrimp. Ahhh, those were the days!

So as you can imagine, in the absence of a real fryer and in the interest of saving myself from the inevitable grease fire, I used to bake everything. One day I was brave, or maybe drunk, and decided that maybe if I just used a deep deep pan, I could fry like the best of them. Well, it’s true. You don’t need a real fryer. Just don’t put the oil up too high and get ready for an occasional grease spatter and you'll be A-OK. Also, I never got around to buying any sort of meat thermometer (to make sure the oil is at the optimal temp), but I usually just wait till I think the oil is probably hot enough- let's call it oil intuition. Then I throw some water into the pot and if it starts really sizzling, it's time to fry!

So back to the idea of reverse food psychology. Upon seeing this recipe for eggplant fries, I wondered if a veggie cut into a fry shape would approach the greatness of the standard potato fry? Or was Bon Appetite trying to pull a gourmet fast one? Well for all those people who are partial to the equation of veggies = instant healthy + I can stuff my face with this food - you’ll want to remember that for this recipe, you still use actual oil to fry these (there is no disgusting, um, I mean clever substitution for that!). Even prior to reading that the flour used to dust the eggplant was in fact RICE FLOUR (aka the gluten free holy grail), I was doing cartwheels in my kitchen; eggplant and fries are in the Emily version of “These Are a Few Of My Favorite Things…” Another favorite Emily song: "How Do You Solve a Problem like Celiac Disease?". So long story short, it was go time, and the next day I picked up a gorgeous aubergine at the local farmer’s market.

Soaking eggplant like it's my job

My one gripe about this recipe (or perhaps the blame should be placed on my horrible short term memory because I totally forgot about this crucial step until I went to make these) was that you have to soak the eggplant F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Ok, so maybe 2 hours isn’t forever, but when you’re so hungry that you find yourself eating the gross dehydrated fruit from this trail-mix somebody left in your work pantry- it seems like an eternity! The whole idea behind soaking the eggplant is that eggplant works like a sponge. Frying without soaking would mean the eggplant would suck up all the oil, making a greasy oil mess. By soaking the eggplant in water, you presaturate, so once frying commences, the eggplant does not take the grease in, and therefore it is just the outside that gets a nice oil/crispy coating! Other than the eons of prep time, this recipe is quite easy. I used my deep pasta pot to fry the eggplant in, which certainly increased the risk of a rapid grease fire engulfing my kitchen, but alas nobody died! The cats are still alive!

my cauldron of oil

I did however find that you have to use a lot of salt to really make the flavor come out. The lemon juice at the end was crucial, as it gave some nice acidity to balance out the fried crunchy texture. Also, I wasn’t in love with the dipping sauce so….we broke up! HA, just kidding, I don’t REALLY date yogurt but I just didn’t think it added a ton to this. I’m kind of anti-dip when it masks things instead of adds to the overall enjoyment. And, I didn’t have any za’atar but made a nice spice combo with whatever I found in my pantry, which at this moment is cumin, paprika and crushed red pepper flakes. You can call me the 6th Spice Girl aka Low Maintenance Spice.

frites of aubergine...complete!

The recipe delivered as promised; crispy on the outside, yummy tender eggplant on the inside. True to form, I convinced myself that I was eating veggies and devoured nearly the whole batch! Mazel Tov!

Eggplant Fries
Courtesy of Bon Appetite, August 2011


Dipping sauce:
1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
1 tablespoon chopped kosher pickle or pickle relish
2 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest
2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano
Kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper

Fries:
1 1-pound eggplant, cut crosswise into 1/2" rounds, then into 1/2"-thick strips
Vegetable oil (for frying)
1 cup rice flour
2 tablespoons finely grated lemon zest
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons za'atar or your own creative spice pantry concoction
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon fine sea salt plus more for seasoning

Ingredient Info:

Za'atar is a Middle Eastern spice blend that includes sumac, herbs, and sesame seeds. It's available at specialty foods stores, Middle Eastern markets, and igourmet.com

For dipping sauce:Whisk yogurt, chopped pickle, lemon zest, and oregano in a small bowl to blend. Season sauce to taste with salt and pepper.

For fries:Place eggplant in a large bowl. Add 2 cups ice and enough water to cover. Place a plate on top of eggplant to weigh it down. Cover and chill for at least 2 hours and up to 12 hours.

Pour oil into a large deep pot to a depth of 2". Attach a deep-fry thermometer to the side of pot and heat oil over medium heat to 325°F.

Meanwhile, whisk rice flour, lemon zest, za'atar or your own spice mix, garlic powder, and 1 teaspoon sea salt in a medium bowl to blend. Drain eggplant. Working in batches, toss damp eggplant in flour mixture to coat.

Working in batches, fry eggplant, turning occasionally, until golden brown, 3-4 minutes per batch. (Reheat oil to 325°F between batches.) Transfer to paper towels to drain. Season with lemon juice and sea salt. Serve immediately with dipping sauce.

Gangster's Paradise

With the somewhat recent arrest of the literal poster boy for America’s Most Wanted, Whitey Bulger, a few weeks ago - I went on a slight gangster bender. (I seem to be going on a lot of benders recently. Hmmmmm) Organized crime has always fascinated me. From the bootleggers during Prohibition, to the Italian Mafioso, and to Boston’s own Irish and Italian mobs; gangsters seem so exciting, so classy, so old world! When it was announced that Whitey had been caught in California after 16 years on the lam, I spent a day perusing all the online articles I could find on the guy. Then I switched over to reading about the Italian mafia and its origin in Sicily. Seriously, Wikipedia is my crack!

I decided my best introduction to everything gangster would have to be a two pronged assault; I would read one book of fiction and one true crime book related to all things gangster. Since I’m partial to anything Italian, I picked The Godfather by Mario Puzo as my fiction choice. As a nod to Whitey Bulger, I picked Brutal by Kevin Weeks for my true crime selection. Kevin Weeks was Whitey’s right hand man, until Whitey split and Kevin was left with a host of criminal charges sitting in his lap. He ended up cooperating with prosecutors and got the sentences to his crimes reduced; he’s now out of prison and wrote a kind of tell-all about his life with Whitey.

The Godfather
By Mario Puzo


Embarrassingly, up until a few weeks ago, I had never seen the movie, The Godfather. While I am not proud of this blatant affront to the American cinema, it did however allow me to read the book without any spoilers. The version that I read from the BPL was a hefty paperback, the kind that always makes me think of old ladies reading bodice rippers at the beach. First off, I’ll say that the dialogue in the book walks the fine line between cheesy and ridiculous. Do people really talk like this? Or more importantly, why did Mario Puzo thing people really talked like this? While the book moved really quickly and was damn exciting, some of the writing seemed really mass market paperback to me. Also, holy bodice ripper! Sometimes I thought I was reading an erotic novel, what with all the throbbing members and big breasts! You’re a dirty old man Mario Puzo!

The Godfather revolves around the Corleone family. Don Vito Corelone and his family, comprised of his wife, three sons (Sonny aka Santino, Fredo, and Michael) and his daughter, Connie, who live in Long Island in post WW2 New York. When people want shit done they go to Don Corleone. Hey, Don Corelone, help me get my daughter’s fiancée some legal immigration papers. Hey, Don Corleone, help me beat up the men who assaulted my daughter. Don Corleone, help me wipe my butt! He’s got the police in his pocket and runs the town. If you screw him over, chances are…..you’re dead. Basically (and to sum up the first section of the book) if you ask a favor of the Don, you owe him one, so prepare to do something immoral to repay your debt.

Well ....something happens to the Don, which sets off a huge war between the competing Italian families within NYC. The youngest son Michael, who was basically the only person not in the family business, has to step up and, let’s say, settle some debts. There’s a lovely portion of the book that takes place in Sicily and also some side stories about Hollywood and Las Vegas.

I liked this book a lot. There were a lot of really random side plots though, like one all about vaginal reconstructive surgery? Apparently, if it gets a little too big down there, doctors can reconstruct it and make sex all hunky dory again. Was it necessary to further this plot line? Did it seem appropriate in regards to the time period and theme of the novel? No. Then why was it in there??? Once again, Puzo, you are a dirty old man!

I followed up my reading of The Godfather with the movie starring Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, and most of the Italian looking actors you’ve seen in Hollywood. The movie was great, and extremely faithful to the book. The cheesy dialogue was vastly improved, Al Pacino is actually kind of hot, and Marlon Brando rules.

After reading the book, I came away with a love for these Italian mobsters. Even though they are sometimes ruthless killers, they were likeable. It didn’t seem like they were doing anything wrong---just killing people who screwed them over. Vengeance, baby, vengeance!

Brutal
By Kevin Weeks.

I was traveling to Michigan for a wedding when I started this gem. Eating alone at a bar one night, the bartender asked me about my book and I gave him a short run down. He had no idea who Whitey Bulger was! No wonder it took 16 years to find him!

Kevin Weeks does a good job letting readers know what growing up in 1960s and 70s South Boston was like. It was no picnic. Weeks grew up in a large family, and his father was a tough cookie. He would box in his living room with his brothers and basically this is where he learned to kick the shit out of people.

As you can imagine, Weeks’ beating up skills make him a shoe-in to bounce at a rough and tumble Southie bar, and it’s here where he meets Whitey. They bonded right away, and soon after Weeks’ was doing Whitey’s dirty work; beating people up, burying bodies, money laundering; your typical Sunday morning chores. Weeks’ describes all this ad nauseoum. Seriously, his journal, had he kept one, would have read like this: “Today I woke up, and somebody looked at me funny, so I punched them in the head. Yesterday, someone told me F-off, so I hit him with a baseball bat.” Two words for you, Kevin Weeks; anger management.

While I found the fictional Don Corleone to be a likable character, Whitey and Kevin Weeks get no sympathy from me. These guys are rats; terrifying rats. Nothing is their fault and they seem to think that killing people is ok, because they were bad people, who in their world deserved it. They have a fond hatred for the “system” (a mindset which seems common among all gangsters) and basically can rationale their god-like behavior till the end of time.

Weeks it out of prison now. He took the smart road and confessed to his involvement in all of Whitey’s crimes,which put a lot of other guys in jail. I wanted some sort of admittance from Weeks, along the lines of admitting to screwing up and making bad choices; but he’s not apologetic in the least!

So with two gangster books and one gangster movie down, I’m officially putting an end to my fascination with the mob or in other words….”I’m leaving the gun and taking the cannoli”.

Happy Birthday Dad! I Made You….. Mayonnaise?

The lobsters totally match my outfit!

Two weeks ago would have been my Dad’s 63rd birthday! What an old geezer he would have been! I would have loved to tease him about that, but such is life. I’m sure he had a rockin’ birthday in heaven! I wonder if he would have been thinking about retirement had he reached his 63rd year. Hopefully he would have planned trips to Greece or Italy with my mom. Or finally cleaned out his basement tool bench!

Growing up, my Dad’s birthday was like Christmas #2. Some years we went out to fancy dinners. Other times we stayed in and had a family only dinner party which usually consisted of surf and turf; my Dad’s favorite food combination and truly the best of both worlds.

My sisters and I continue the tradition of my Dad’s birthday, even though he died nearly 4 years ago. One of my sisters lives in California, but I live with the other one, so we decided to do our own home-made tribute to the birth of Dad, and what a feast it was!

We decided on lobster rolls. And what better way to compliment a lobster roll then with….home-made mayonnaise! Sometimes I have this fantasy that I will get to a point in my life where I will exist solely on food that I’ve made from scratch. I’ll grow my own veggies in my non-existent vegetable patch. I’ll make my own GF pasta on my old school pasta cranky machine. I won’t eat anything from a box! But then sometimes it’s 7 pm and I find myself starving after a long day at work, and all I want is boxed GF Mac and Cheese. It’s time like these that cooking from scratch goes out the window real fast! Home-made mayonnaise is actually a lot easier than one thinks. I think it’s the raw eggs that really skeeve people out, when in reality, if you ever go to anywhere outside the US, you realize that people not only eat raw eggs with reckless abandonment but they don’t refrigerate them! My Italian host mom kept her eggs in the pantry! The US has a serious obsession with refrigeration.

Whereas I have a serious obsession with mayonnaise! I really think its one of my top 5 favorite foods. Give me anything with mayonnaise and I’m guaranteed to love it. I even dip my French fries in it….because the truth is I’m secretly aspiring to be Belgian (and maybe obese?). Home-made mayo is best prepared via food processor. I guess you can do it by hand with a whisk, but I’m pretty sure your arm would fall off in the process. Seriously, don’t be Amish and use a food processor!

My sister was worried that if I prepared the mayo incorrectly I would endanger our health, but I think she was confusing mayonnaise with home-canning in which botulism is a risk. You can’t get botulism from bad mayo, only a nasty separated concoction if you add the oil too fast.

home-made mayo...oh boy!

Thankfully this did not happen to me. I did think my blender was going to break down or the blade would come whipping out at my face, as the motor started making scary sounds by minute 2 or 3. But voile home-made tangy mayo! I actually didn’t even have lemons to make lemon juice (its been a frugal month at Chez Dumas), so squeezed the life out of a desiccated lime, and it still worked! If this brunette (who sometimes acts like a blonde) can do it, anyone can! Home-made mayo doesn’t last very long though (you can blame that on the lack of preservatives), so be ready to gobble it up in a few days.


Here’s the finished product. This was my sister’s plate with the lovely lobster filled roll. I had my lobster on a bed of arugula, but it was still delicious!

So here’s to you Dad. I taught myself to make home-made mayonnaise. Booo-yah.


HOMEMADE MAYONNAISE
Courtesy of Shana on Glutenfreegirl.com

1 large egg
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons lemon juice/lime juice
1 cup canola oil
salt and cracked black pepper

Place the egg, egg yolk, mustard, and lemon juice in the food processor. While the machine is running, slowly drizzle in the oil, until it is thick and creamy. Add salt and pepper.